The older I become, the faster time seems to move.

When I was a child, the days I spent by my Mom’s side in the kitchen canning and preparing food from our garden seemed endless, as if they would never run out. As an adult the time with my children by my side preparing dinner seems to move at the speed of light. Partially because I am a victim of the over-involved teenager time crunch… and partially because I have fallen victim to my own apathy.  Becoming too concerned with getting to the end of a task that I fail to recognize the journey.

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Have we become too busy to slow down, take in and mentally record our own happy moments?  I believe that this is a contributing factor in the rise of depression in America. At risk of sounding like a closed-minded old lady, many of us suffer from a distinct lack of mindfulness.

Our culture has trained us to take shortcuts. We are results based individuals, which makes for a hugely productive society. But at what cost? Recent attention to the effects of depression, addiction, and mental illness have shone a light on what is missing.

I find myself asking why my kids seem so much more stressed than I was at their age. My middle son recently celebrated his 19th birthday. While I am horrible with words of wisdom, I felt the need to offer the one piece of advice I think all adults need the most: “Allow yourself to be happy.” Perhaps that sounds trite, but it made perfect sense to me. The one thing we often fail to do in our rush, is give ourselves permission to feel joy.

Have we re-defined happiness? We have clearly changed our lifestyles. Conversations can be interrupted at any moment by a text or a cell phone call. We have instant messages and all manner of communication options. We are never out of touch. Or are we? Do we listen and communicate or do we send words at one another and hope they stick?

The time of slipping an apron over a kids head, rolling up their sleeves and sharing a day making ravioli… seem distant at best. So how then, do we connect? Is the growing struggle with depression linked somehow to the idea that the family unit and mindfulness have slipped into a comatose state.  If you remove connections, isolate and put individuals into a solitary state, only accompanied by the faceless unemotional glow of an electronic device, there is desensitization.

The one thing that snaps my teenagers out of the zombie like attraction to computer sponsored isolation, is the smell of food. No matter what else is pressing, If I pop a couple of cloves of garlic and some olive oil in a hot iron skillet, teens will begin to emerge from every corner of my home. I might even end up with a few extra!

Time spent sharing a meal is the one time we fully connect with the people and world around us. Did our Grandmothers need research to tell us how to connect? Of course not! Years ago people had no choice. Families always came face to face to have a meal. Nourishing mind body and spirit, no matter the size or content of the meal… it was a shared moment — a moment when all walls dropped and families laughed, connected, spoke to one another, learned to communicate to take turns, to share with others. Even if you did not know how to contribute to a conversation, you were in that moment. Could there be a better way to stave off feelings of isolation than sharing sustenance? The taste and nutrients of the food, the camaraderie that is nurtured through the act of preparing and sharing food, and living the same exact experience. Those are the moments which allow us to shake off the cobwebs of isolation and connect with the simple joys of living.

Sharing dinner time may not be the answer to every every issue, but I am perfectly willing to accept the outcome, How does that fit into the recipe of allowing yourself to be happy? Don’t remove yourself from the possibility. Share the meal. Find a friend or acquaintance and invite them to have lunch. Go with friends to share a beverage and snacks. Help someone prepare a meal! In that moment… that one simple act… you are allowing one of the the most crucial instincts we have to simply wash over you. And perhaps, you are allowing in a moment of joy. What could it hurt?

This is one of the recipes I recall making with my Mom and my Nana. Its one of those recipes that works particularly well for sharing time. Lots of veggies to cut and prep, works well with whatever you have in season and can be made to suit vegans or meat eaters! Grab a cooking buddy, put on an apron roll up your sleeves and lighten your mood.